Relationships: Make Them Last Forever...

How DO we handle the stress of dealing with a spouse/partner and our families? What DOES it take to strengthen the relationships? How do we make our relationships last forever? Well, let's define forever: For everlasting time; eternally.

Now, since none of us live forever, how about we re-direct the question to: How do we make the relationship last for a lifetime? Glad you've asked! Here are 5 ways to maintain a successful union (relationship) for a lifetime and it all begins with the Word of God.

#1 Christ-centeredness
Mark 12:30 - Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. (NIV)

It didn't say love your spouse, partner, friend, child, ex...it says love the LORD you God with all...

If we make God our ultimate love, then He will make it a priority to send us the divine love that He has designed for our lives. We have to be purposed to be together in order for our relationships to really work successfully. Some of us are linked to an illegal soul tie (a relationship that God has not pre-destined nor ordained to bless). God will not bless any mess so stop asking Him to! If your relationships have gone 'south' the ask God for direction and guidance and I guarantee you that He will aide you in your request.   Seek God first...Matthew 6:33

 #2 Commitment
Hebrews 13:4 - Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral (NIV)

Now, ALL is inclusive language. No gender mentioned! So, if you enter into a marriage or covenant relationship, it is best you take that commitment seriously. Don't sleep with your spouse's sister or brother or both.  Don't have sexual relations with your partner's best friend.  Don't sleep with your husband's brother or wife's sister... "Nasty Edna...N-A-S-T-E-E…Nasty!"

Of course, in order to commit, you have to be submissive to your spouse or partner. Not sub-servant but submissive to one another. You have to commit to your spouse and not a 3rd, 4th, 5th party...
If you try and commit your body to too many people, eventually you'll end up hurting yourselves and others and everyone involved in your circle. 

God does honor the divine and loving commitments we vow to our spouses/partners! Better not to commit than to commit and not honor the commitment.

#3 Communication
Colossians 4:6 - Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.

How well do you communicate with your spouse/partner? At times, we do not speak the same language therefore; we must define our words of choice. For example; a mouse pad can no longer be considered just a place where a rat/rodent dwells; it's also labeled as a surface to enhance the usability of a computer mouse.

In today's society, our language must be defined and understood. We should speak with certainty and precision. We should be truthful and honest in our communication practices. Matthew 5:37 says to Simply let your 'Yes' be 'Yes,' and your 'No,' 'No'; anything beyond this comes from the evil one. Amen!

#4 Compromise
Luke 6:31 - Treat others the same way you want them to treat you. (NASB)

Don't be so obsessed with getting your OWN advantage. Forget about yourself long enough to lend a helping hand to others. It's not all about you. I have discovered that during the holiday season can be the most difficult time for spouses/partners to support each other's families; because not all families embrace our spouses/partners. If we have the opportunity, we should make concessions for each other.

If your family is not accepting of your spouse/partner, create your own traditions such as my spouse and I have; you'll find that compromising is easier. ("Ok honey, let's stay home.  You prepare the collard greens or green bean casserole and I'll heat up the turkey").

Sometimes, you have to do your own thing! Oftentimes, we expect too much of others that we are not willing to give of ourselves. How can you get what you are not willing to give? Give and it shall be given to you...Luke 6:38

 
#5 Care
Philippians 2:4 - Do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. (NASB)

Do not let your care and attention be wholly absorbed by your own concerns. Diana Ross challenged us in "Reach Out and Touch" with this question: "and would I be talking to a stone if I asked you to share a problem that's not your own?"

We can definitely begin to change the world around us if we cared enough about each other. Care enough about your spouse/partner to be concerned with their needs. Be conscious of their strengths and weakness. Know what they are good at and know their challenges.

We have to move beyond this one-dimensional thinking so that we may enhance our relationships to last the life-time which God intended. In order to grow a garden, you have to care for it. We must manicure our relationships just like we manicure our lawns and gardens; if you don't water it, it won't grow to its full potential.

Let's get away from this 50/50 relationship idea. "There is NO SUCH a-thang!" I say - bring your best 60% and allow your spouse/partner to bring their best 40% then you can look forward to 100% together! What ever is missing, God can and will make up the rest if you let Him. 

 

Know that we ALL have flaws because we are imperfect people. We cannot expect a perfect relationship when there are imperfect people involved. Yes relationships can be challenging but they should not be hard or "FB complicated." (LOL)  Of course, God never promised us an easy life; He promised us salvation IF we accept it!

Now let's revisit these 5 points on how to make IT last 4ever...a lifetime:

Christ-centeredness

Commitment

Communication

Compromise

Care

I call these the 5 C's of Grace! Practice these exercises and see how your relationship(s) will be strengthened and long-lasting!

God bless and keep you,

- Pastor D